I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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