census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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