I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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