I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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