i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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