Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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