im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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