are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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