help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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