watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize