is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize