What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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