no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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