Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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