I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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