She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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