One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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