Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
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My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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