four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
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I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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