am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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