woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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