Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize