If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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