ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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