so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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