I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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