Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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