I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize