I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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