oh god the rape fog is back!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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