Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize