help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize