When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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