I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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