where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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