Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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