I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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