I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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