He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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