i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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