how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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