Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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