I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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