About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize