i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
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Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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