Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize