I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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