oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize