Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize