i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize